Addeddate 2019-09-04 04:56:23 Identifier steveurkel_201909 Scanner Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4. plus-circle Add Review. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Ms. Steuben: Steve, it's not a good sign when you have to give your bread a pep talk. Look, Steve. When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! YOU'RE WHERE? Carl: Uh-oh. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Did I do that? Pick a general observation about her personality. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Good answer! "Tomorrow, Dad!" Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. Ken: [Grabbing Steve by the collar] THAT FEEB YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT WAS ME! Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! It's a beautiful language. Am is a verb, verbs are our friends. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Urkel defeats him]. The man was open all day! Carl Otis Winslow: [Takes the money from Eddie] I love you son. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? Sergeant Shishka: Urkel, Winslow, you are not on my list of new recruits. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. And him. White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? I'm in big trouble! Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. The truth is you deserve a kiss. When are you going to the store? I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Wow, are you wearing a bra? Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?". I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Overall, Steve's good intentions trump his flaws and give the audience a plethora of laughs every time he comes onscreen and says, "Did I do that?" Without Steve Urkel, Family Matters would have been overlooked as just another TGIF Friday night comedy show. Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Steve Urkel: Really? [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. My zipper." 5. Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. You would win the gold. We're starved. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. Steve Urkel: Can I have a glass of milk to go with my face? What is the value of X? Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. That's Lt. Murtaugh. And I don't get many calls! Mondo do du chok! Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Newsflash, Eddie! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. When's it going to end? Steve Urkel: Practice. Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. I was kickin' butt. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. I'm not your personal doormat. often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. Well, that's gonna stop right now! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. Carl: Who are you and what have you done with our son? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? Laura: Sure, Steve. Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! My mom's the one who really messed up. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Stupid? And what about the car show last Saturday? Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? One Now, let's read it! Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Way to go Carl! Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. Carl: What? Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! Carl Otis Winslow: I recognized him right away. I can see my dad! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Hey Steve, would you like a breast? Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. But I recognized him right away. Your father waited at the Box Office for an hour. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. College Problems Student Problems Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! It's late. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Waldo come to the Witness Stand. Ordinarily, I like a table right next to the water. Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. [laughs] Bye! Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. then removes his hand]. Let's keep this one! Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. I won't be able to take you to the prom. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. You trifled with my emotions! You see, I use verbs. I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with him. I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. Carl: What? Steve Urkel: [opens the back door] Surprise. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Harriette: At my table, you eat them. I told the janitor about our little problem here. Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? Your dad's runnin' late. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Laura Lee Winslow: Aunt Rachel, take little Richie, the Murphy twins are giving each other haircuts in the backyard! Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. My, what strong arms. Come here. Now hit the sack. [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. Ken: You make me wanna puke! Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? I love you more than life itself. Larry Csonka: Yes, spread the word. Harriette Winslow: And you meant every word 8 years ago. There's lots of reasons why I don't love you. [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Oh, I see. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. I didn't kiss you. I can assure you that we Urkels are a fine, old family, with a proud name. Steve, what happened? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Look how big and thick it is! Wha? Rise! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? Dad took Waldo instead of me. Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Think of the possibilities.". Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. This isn't right Weasel. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? To rob and murder? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Let's just get there! Let me tell you something though Weasel. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. Where did you get the money for this? Harriette: [unsympathetic] Yes! Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Rachel Crawford: How 'bout double the usual? And we practiced for six minutes! 4 Mar. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? I never got an 'A' before. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Harriette Winslow: You have to understand, back in Detroit where he's from, the police are considered the enemy, so he doesn't trust them. And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! He just told you to get lost. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. [the car breaks down. Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. Look I clued everybody in. Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. 89. He's gonna drive us tonight. Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. Mucus comes in so many colors. Carl was his horse. [laughs] But you never smile! There's no justification for this behavior! Steven Quincy Urkel: But I'm going the recommended cruising speed for this vehicle Any more could be risky. Did you see them work on Dora Fenswick? Why that low-down-cheap-bunder-headed-mud-slinging-bush-wacking-slanderous-snake-in-a-skirt is blackmailing you! Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Rachel Crawford: Good. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. What bright side, Weasel? I-I-I see. Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Clean up your room Edward. My parents play this with me all the time! Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Who? Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? A few minutes ago, I just saw Laura and I fanted. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Carl will understand. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. Did you think of me while you guys were camping? Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me? Why are you guys dressed like that? Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Gun, Carl. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. Eddo. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. That wasn't a rock video. Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Curtis: I know you're disappointed. You're always sorry. I'm going to give you an 'A'. It better be a dead relative in your excuse. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Laura: Doth thou love me? Oh, yes it is! A minor Betty Crocker boo boo. I'm cooking breakfast. Eddie Winslow, front and center! "Tomorrow Dad!". Steve who? Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. Eddie borrowed money from me. Their own version of the 3 R's? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. You need to get out more. Laura: I was thinking about taking a home economics class so I can learn how to cook. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Bazooms! Harriette Winslow: Then clean it up, I'm still on strike. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. This is fantastic! Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Freddy Krueger! Heapingly, overflowingly, full! [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. First of all, this is not a real date. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Eddo, Eddo, Eddo! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Weasel, you are the last person who should be giving me advice about girls. Let's call it recycling. Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl, you lazy slug! Steve Urkel: Actually, it was my dad who said that. Sergeant Shishka: Don't insult my Army. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. Steve Urkel: Okay. Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Bye! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. Harriette Winslow: I am not! Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. What's for dinner, milk and cookies? Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. Can you carry me home? It's fascinating. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? Well, name a couple. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. An illustration of a person's head and chest. Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. You're late for class. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Whem I'm unhappy about something, I say so. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Suppose I made it happen. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. Alright. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Let eserviate on the bright side. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. She just slipped and I caught her. Cool. urkel-steve. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! We only have to make one quick delivery. Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Carl Otis Winslow: No. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here.
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